The internet is full of armchair psychologists, armchair warriors, and trolls. We know that, which is why I don’t argue with strangers online, not worth my time, and just feeds their ego. Discussions, however, are fine. The following is, of course, a very scientific study of things I noticed without proper scientific monitoring, but there seems to be a trend whereby we either discredit stories of abuse, or shame the victim. And Hungary, as per usual, is at the forefront of it.
A group I’m part of, and have commented in, decided to post #MeToo stories anonymously. The group’s main theme is stuff overheard on the streets of the capital, which can range from the fortnight funny to the utmost extreme. Personally, I see the logic of including #MeToo stories, since sadly it’s a part of life in any town, village, or city, and I commend the admins for posting stories in their name so the person can remain anonymous. They always mention this, saying this is a #MeToo story in which the person chose to remain anonymous. A large part of the members don’t see it like that.
It’s about high time we retire those moronic MeToo posts, says one, and several people agree. How do we know this is true, asks another, and again several people agree by liking the comment. Then there are of course those who love to shame the victim. Again, plenty of likes. But the icing on the cake comes from those who openly state, I’m so dick and tired of these stupid MeToo posts, post them somewhere else.
Hungary never made any claims of scoring high on empathy. A few organizations here and there try to help where they can, but they are few and far between, and won’t even answer until months later when you contact them volunteering your help. For the most part Hungarians seem blissfully happy in their principled bubble, where any and all crimes – not to mention misfortunes – can be avoided if only the victim hadn’t placed herself there / had worn something else / hadn’t provoked the man who raped, abused, or killed her, and had in general followed all the rules God and Party had prescribed. As though they were meds one could take to ward off whatever befell them.
I post about this a lot, because in most other places I’ve lived in, they take this very seriously. I’ve worked with people and bosses you’d swear were only about their own agenda, until they witnessed something they didn’t like, long before it could escalate into harassment, and nipped it in the bud with a quickness you’d never believe they were capable of. Not so in Hungary. Parents, witnessing abusive marital situations, frequently walk away instead of helping. Mention an attack or harassment, and in 9 cases out 10, people will blame it on the Roma. Real, white Hungarians don’t do that, common “wisdom” goes. Incidentally, the Hungarian nation as a whole would do well to take a DNA test. Given the country’s location and its history, there might be a few surprises to uncover for all those Caucasian-identifying Righteous Citizens. Something tells me though, they’d just blame the results on a “very faulty test, which isn’t worth s***.”