The Problem With Hungary – social expectations

In Hungary, which is currently fighting so hard to maintain its Christian values, you are judged not by your deeds but by your physical appearance. And your alpearance better hold up, and it better comform to the natioanal standard. For a woman that means being 1,70m tall and maintaining a bodyweight of no more than 45 kilos. 50 is permissible, if she had children, or is middle-aged, but not a gram more. She also has to be hairless, perfectly tanned, with perfect nails and long healthy hair. Where French and Italian women dress up for a love of fashion, Hungarian women do it to show that they can, and to avoid being shamed. Boyfriends are not above telling their girlfriends off in public if they feel that she doesn’t “hold up.” A boyfriend demanding that his girl stand by the pool in a bikini that showcases her best features while he swims laps during practice is as normal as decamping to Lake Balaton for at least part of the summer. As is him screaming at her for making him look bad in front of his mates. The reason? Her bikini bottoms slipped just the tiniest bit to reveal a barely noticeable tan line.

I used to think it was just athletes, but it’s everywhere. Girls are made to understand from an early age, that her life is only worth living with a man by her side (not a partner, a man). Asking a newborn, “whose sweetheart are you? Which boy will marry you” is again as normal as that obligatory trip to the Mecca of all holy meccas in Hungary, Lake Balaton. For where else can you showcase your best assets for everyone to get jealous over. Other people’s jealousy is as coveted as the latest designer whatnot.

It really makes you think though. Have these people even read the Bible? Do they understand its message? Do they know what love, empathy, compassion means? When you have nothing to show for yourself because you’re forever underpaid or whatever you need just isn’t there, it’s easy to turn your body into a material asset. But then why do other countries manage to avoid this? Why are other countries more giving, more caring.



  1. Interesting, I didn’t know that about Hungary. I remember when I was younger and living in France, everyone kept commenting on how casually I dressed. I didn’t think it was casual, just normal. I was wearing a pair of trendy Swedish shoes, but they didn’t have high heels. I had flattering pants – but they were jeans. Etc. Luckily Finns aren’t like the guys you described. I wouldn’t listen to that for more than 5 minutes!!


    • Jeans are casual. 🤣 But nothing wrong with them. 😉 We always dressed in light blue jeans, a white shirt, black high tops, and a black Perfecto jacket to complete the look in France. Then we’d make fun of the Germans who would wear dark jeans with black blouses. We were horrible as kids. I’ll dress like a bum at times, or ill channel the ’80s. But having said all that, I don’t judge my friends who always dress up any more than they judge me. We are who we are and how we choose to express ourselves. In Hungary, if you dress differently, you’re alternative and a dirty hippie. I can count the goths I’ve seen there on one hand. Same with the metal heads. It’s a very conservative society. And the sad thing is, if you’re born and raised there, that’s all you see and accept. For the record, I find jeans very stylish. 😀

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Such vile folks always hide behind the religious books to push their patriarchal agenda to boost this misplaced male ego and it sucks to the core to see widespread discrimination or label women. It’s again extremely sad to see where a society is heading!

    Liked by 1 person

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