Why Won’t Anyone Play With Me? – the relatives game

I mentioned my uncle. And getting over my inner laziness, by using an online dictionary, I managed to surmise that he died in September. So far so interesting. As I told my aunt in an email, they say funerals bring out all kinds of truths, so I guess this is it. Right before launching into a somewhat pressing question. A rumor really. Or maybe it’s fact. No one really knows except for three people, and of those one is no longer with us and two are at loggerheads.

Those of you who follow Helsinki-Budapest on Twitter, will know what I mean. Or will at least put two and two together. I asked my aunt because I was tired of all the lies and games, and I wanted her to know that while I don’t like any of the relatives and won’t talk to them, I won’t be pushed around.

The thing I asked her about involved a breach of trust on her part. Thing is, I’m actually ok with that. Meaning I can step back and let the adults work it out. Technically, it’s not any of my business. It happened, everyone moved on. And it won’t affect my life. Except that it is somewhat. My business. And it does affect my life. If the person who accused my aunt of doing what she did was telling a lie, what else did they lie about? Without sounding prideful (yeah, I used that word), I consider myself a pretty decent judge of character. Right before shit went down with whatever relative, I’d call it every time. But in this case I’m honest-to-goodness stumped. I have an idea, but I couldn’t call it 100%. I would most certainly not dare stake my life.

And so I asked, in more than 140 characters, and respectfully presenting the question by explaining my position. I haven’t spoken to the instigator yet. That may or may not be a question of time. It’ll be interesting to witness their reaction. But since they claim not to be able to use the internet, seeing their face will be hard. This one I can actually call easily. There will be first surprise, then denial, then calling me crazy and all sorts of names. Regardless of whether the rumor is true or not. My aunt is the only one who can truthfully answer this question, though whether she’ll choose to or not is another question. So far she hasn’t replied, and she usually did within twelve hours. I’m not sorry I brought it up, just would have preferred to do it in person. Though distance being a huge factor, that wasn’t very likely.

So, what would you have done? Would you have brought it up or let sleeping dogs lie?



  1. It seems that occasions such as weddings and funerals seem to bring out the worst in people. I just went to a funeral a few weeks ago and it seems that the entire family were at odds. It was like the casket was just sitting there and no one was paying any attention to it. The family quarrels and bringing up past hurt feelings seems to be what these occasions are for. My hubby went to a funeral where there were additional children that no one knew about. There were additional girlfriends as well. Its safe to assume that once everyone got to the grave site, noone no longer cared about the person in the casket, they wanted to tear each other from limb to limb. Oh what lovely humans we are! lol

    Liked by 3 people

    • Lovely species indeed. But at least people went to the funeral, right? 🙄 Totally agree on the family quarrels etc. Plus, if you don’t look sufficiently broken, they’ll have a go at you. Until and unless they’re otherwise distracted.

      Your husband’s funeral experience doesn’t even surprise me. When I lived in Finland, several people and friends told me that you only really find out about how many siblings you have at a funeral. Plus, all the other stuff.

      Found out about some extra family at a funeral as well, distant relative had additional siblings (though they’d met before). Is it really wrong of me to find this somehow hilariously comical, albeit in a sick and twisted kind of way?

      Thanks for commenting! I really do enjoy reading other people’s thoughts.


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