A mother and daughter were sitting together in a café, discussing issues in general. The mother had mentioned something about her landlord giving her grief and follows this up with, “then again, what do you expect from a dirty old Jew.”
The daughter is then heard admonishing her mother that they, too, are Jewish, which the mother does not react very well to.
Mother: Sweetheart, you were christened. There’s no way that you’re Jewish.
Daughter: Doesn’t matter if I was baptized or not, people on the street won’t ask for my baptism certificate when they attack. Besides, my father was Jewish. You married a Jew.
Mother: And no congregation would ever accept you.
Daughter: Don’t you see? That’s just it. Anti-Semites will attack me, and there’s no one who will ever protect me, because no congregation will ever accept me. To the Christians I’m too Jewish. To the Jewish community I’m not Jewish enough.
Mother: you’re Christian.
Daughter: Not to people who see my face first. Besides, your own grandmother converted.
Mother: She did no such thing. There is a photo of her pray by in her family’s chapel. They were very rich, you know. Third family in the town.
Daughter: Yes, I know. So you keep telling me. Her last name was Herz. That pretty much speaks for itself.
Mother: I don’t remember what her last name was.
Daughter: You told me yourself that her last name was Hirsch. Right up until I kept reminding you that it’s a distinctly Jewish name. Then you suddenly developed amnesia.
Mother: Maybe it was and maybe it wasn’t. What does it matter anyway.
Daughter: It matters because you’re being an anti-Semite, and I keep telling you how hurtful it is.
Mother: You’re oversensitive.
Daughter: I’m merely pointing out how anti-Semitic and hurtful you are. Like with the landlord. Why not just say he’s an ass? Why bring his heritage into it?
Mother: Because his Jewish friend warned me against him. He said it himself, ‘this is a very bad Jewish guy.’ He said it about his own people.
Daughter: I give up.
Mother: You know, the other day I went into the bank and mentioned in passing that I married a Jew. I did get much better service.