Cousin Fester and the Torschlusspanik Effect

It should be no secret by now – nor should it come as any surprise – that Cousin Fester’s life is not without controversy. This is partly due to his character (Cousin Fester likes to test himself and those around him), and partly due to who he is (being the CEO of your own company, which is rather successful, is no easy feat and is bound to set tongues wagging).

Much as I love to hate him, I also believe in giving credit where credit is due, and Cousin Fester is no exception. The things he does, he does exceptionally well. And they all range from building up his company by mixing two Very Significant items from the countries of his ethnic heritage, to putting his place of birth on the global map. Mention his name anywhere in the country he grew up, and everyone knows who he is. Whether they like him or not, is another question, but the recognition is instant. Cousin Fester has also pretty much taught himself English (as he – or rather his parents – opted for Swedish and German at school), and is able to hold forth on a very intellectual level on a variety of subjects.

Despite all that (or maybe because of it), Cousin Fester has not been immune to the infamous midlife crisis, or as the Germans like to put it, Torschlusspanik, the panic of closing gates.

Those who’ve been following the news (and cross-checked Twitter and other society pages) know which side is up, and they also know that Cousin Fester has been dating a(nother) Very Pretty Girl for at least the past year. When I say pretty, I really do mean pretty, beautiful in fact. But the emphasis here is on girl, a very young girl. And while she is perfectly legal in Europe and the Americas, the fact also remains that she could easily be (mis)taken for Cousin Fester’s daughter. And they might just be dating for longer than that past year.

You see, I was helping out at a company Xmas Bazaar a few years back. The company I was working for was a subcontractor of sorts for Cousin Fester. While I was aware of those dynamics, I wasn’t quite aware to what extent Cousin Fester owned and ran the place. Let’s just say I really insulted him and his position that night without being aware of doing either. I tried to apologize a year-and-a-half later (when I ran into him on the street), but he blew me off. It was the last “conversation” we had.

I remember that Xmas Bazaar for quite a few factors. But mainly I remember it for leaning my head against a friend’s shoulder while she patted the side of my arm just as Cousin Fester walked past – once again – to let a Very Beautiful Girl onto the premise (the Bazaar was invitation only). I remember the scene unfolding in front of my eyes and just taking it in the way you take things in when you let your mind wander. I was on a break, so no need to hide. But there was something beautiful about that girl, and their dynamic. Just two friends meeting up in front of the event. It was clear that he’d come outside looking for her so she wouldn’t have any problems getting in, and there was something touching about that.

Keep in mind though, that I’m terrible with faces. So I might be completely wrong. There are a lot of beautiful girls surrounding Cousin Fester, she could have been one of them. But it seems to me now that it might have been the same girl. Which is interesting, because I have it on very good authority that Cousin Fester had a few much younger wives on his past life when he was of a certain age. And that age is fast approaching again. Which would also make the girl the same age as the girl he married the last time he was married to a Much Younger Wife. It would also explain why he never bothered to dispel all the rumors that were floating around about him at that time, some of which were pretty vicious.



  1. hey Juliet, are you having any problem in signing in? Since yesterday wordpress is forcing me to change my passwords, two in two days, the accurate passwords have been refused. Please mail me the answer! I am really, really worried!


    • Very true. Though to be perfectly fair, he’s looking for something from his past life in her, of that I’m sure.

      But in general I agree. I’ve seen it over here too many times. The men want the body, the chick wants his money. To quote the Black Eyed Peas, where is the love? In all this. Your partner should be your best friend. There should be love. There has to be.

      Liked by 1 person

      • I so agree with you. It is not always true though that the girl is in for the money. It is quite possible that she has some serious feelings of love, respect and admiration.

        But so agree with you that when love is missing from either side, the relationship would sure land in a mess !

        Liked by 1 person

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