How to Pick Up Girls in the Projects


It’s the middle of the week, so people are feeling the slump. And trying to catch some last rays of sunshine in the evening. My friend and I decided to go on a walk around the neighborhood, a spontaneous idea, which basically occurred when I came down the steps on my way to the supermarket and ran into her. Everyone’s outside, parents with their kids, dogs, neighbors, construction workers coming home from work. Beer, they say, is a popular beverage in these parts, so cue two guys, each nursing his own can hanging out on two chairs the municipality put out for people’s comfort. They’re a good idea, judging by the various groups of neighbors sitting around on several groups of chairs.

The guys look no older than twenty-five. They eye us as we approach, we eye them, mainly because there’s no one else around in this spot and people are interesting. As we walk past, one of the guys raises his voice, using the same tone you’d use to catch someone’s attention.

“Won’t you take me as your wife,” he calls. Then, realizing we don’t react, his voice drops back to conversational mode as he turns to his friend and ends the sentence with, “is what he said to her.”

Smooth save, guy in the park. Smooth save.



    • I am so behind, I need to check out the show. I interpreted it more as him trying to pick either one of us up, and when we kept moving, he saved the situation by pretending that someone else had said it. But if he had offered to become either one’s wife, that would have been interesting. Though I did have a male acquaintance come over and help me with the cleaning a while back, and he’d always put on a miniskirt and makeup. He worked as a nurse, so I figured his tolerance level was pretty high. Cleanliness is next to godliness wasn’t exactly my go-to concert when I was in college. 😀


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